Reunion

by Karabinek

Uncensored Windows Linux Mac Android
Versionv0.80 Hotfix
EngineRen'Py
Released2026-02-12
Updated2026-04-09
LanguageEnglish

You play the role of a 27-year-old man who returns to his hometown after nearly 10 years to hear his father's last will and testament. You control the MC as he attempts to exact revenge on Linda, the woman who ruined his life, because of whom he had to leave town and leave his family and closest friends. Plotting his revenge, the MC falls deeper and deeper into the world of secrets of his father, discovering things he never had any clue about. The MC will have to come face-to-face the past as well as with dark side of his hometown and finally, after many years, close this chapter of his life. Help the MC find out the truth by playing "REUNION."​

v0.80 Hotfix Gallery should no longer crash. Animations now display correctly. Candy, Brenda, and Kendra were added properly and their gallery entries now work as intended. Missing images for Vanessa and Judy have been added. Lisa Hair (Day 18) Fixed the short hair issue during parts of Day 18 — it should now display properly in-game. Lisa Hair (Gallery / Old Saves) I also worked on the long-standing Lisa hair inconsistency between saves and the gallery. It should now work correctly, including switching between old and new saves. However — and I want to be transparent here — the way the hair variable was originally handled at the very beginning of the game makes it impossible to 100% “surgically” fix everything without forcing a fresh playthrough. I tested multiple full runs and a lot of save combinations, and it behaves correctly now. If you still experience issues: Try loading the save twice. Or roll back one interaction and move forward again. It should stabilize. Other Fixes Fixed several small issues during Day 18. Cleaned up various minor problems discovered during repeated full playthrough testing. v0.80 - Day 18 - Over 1500 images - Many animations - A lot of sex scenes - New girls: Judy and Vanessa - Fixed most of the bugs and errors v0.75 FULL DAY 17 – Pushing the story forward! ISABELLA'S STORY REVEALED – Learn about her past and connections. MC'S PAST & HIS FATHER'S CONNECTION TO MING – Major story revelations! ROMANCE, SEX, & ACTION – A mix of emotions and intensity! IMPORTANT CHANGES & FIXES: Fixed "no music" error when loading a save (could still happen the first time when using an older save). New feature in settings: You can now turn off lesbian content! (Works only for this patch for now.) v0.70 New Here is a list of things I changed or fixed: Gallery Pictorials : There is now a "next page" button allowing you to view the older pictorials again. Statistics : Added a statistics page for Kendra and Brenda and fixed pregnancy points to show as intended. Gameplay Jessica Scene : I added a choice to avoid the Jessica/Nicole confrontation, a scene many people had issues with. You can now skip everything beyond the MC/Jessica part. Enjoy the updates! v0.70 N/A v0.65 - Day 15 - Over 2500 images. - Many animations. - A lot of sex scenes. - New girl: Kate. - Built-in walkthrough has been improved and adjusted. - Changed and improved Gallery and Pictorials. - The story was once again proofread and English was improved. - Fixed most of the bugs and errors. v0.60 - Day 14 with over 2000 pictures, 14 animations and 5 sex scenes. - new girls: Kayla, Jade (a red haired beauty with small or large breasts), Paige, Amber, Lucy and Maya. - Days 1 to 4 have been fully re-rendered with all new visuals. - Days 5 to 6 - I partly rendered new pictures and partly improved the quality of the existing ones. - Days 7 to 13 - I improved the quality of some of the pictures. - Sandra and Emily have been affected the most and their paths have changed the most. - All dialogue has been reviewed and a lot of changes have been made to enhance and expand the story to make your experience better. - Added a walkthrough - if you turn it on in the settings menu for most choices, you will get a hint and it will be easier for you to decide what to choose. - Improved the scoring notification and added pregnancy points - completely redesigned the photo gallery and pictorials. - Improved and extended the statistics. - Changed the game prologue and added an age verification page. - Improved the appearance of the main menu. - Removed the annoying movies at the beginning and end of the day and replaced them with something simpler. - Proofread the entire story and improved the English language significantly. - And most importantly, I improved the game code by removing most of the bugs. v0.55 - Day 13 - Over 2300 images. - Over 20 animations. - Several sex scenes. - Added new girl - Anya. - You can choose between medium or big boobs for her. - MC has now new genitalia. Previous days weren't updated yet. - Gallery updated and changed - divided into Animations and Scenes. - New animations added for transition between days. - New notification added when gaining Love or Submission points. - *Pictorials* have been updated - missing months added. - Updated side images and added missing ones. - Updated phone wallpapers - new images. - Fixed most of the bugs and errors. v0.5 - Day 12 - Over 1000 images - Several animations - Several sex scenes - *Pictorials* have been completely revised. - Missing months have been added. - Fixed most of the bugs and errors. v0.45 Day 11 Over 1000 images Several animations Several sex scenes Over 30 000 words Minor changes to dialogues The start of the game has been changed. Fixed most of the bugs and errors. v0.4 Days 9 and 10 Over 2000 images 6 animations Several sex scenes Over 30 000 words New hot girl added - Veronica. Minor changes to dialogues Updated *Pictorials* with 2021 galleries. Jill model changed. Old images with Jill adjusted. The start of the game has been changed. New wallpapers added to your smartphone. v0.3a Added new feature *Events*. Halloween Event Short event added. It's not related to main story. You can access it from main menu. Fixed most of the bugs and errors. Added new background image. Added new feature *Pictorials*. You can access it from main menu. v0.3 **Days 7 and 8** Almost 1000 images Several animations Several sex scenes New hot girls Statistics screen enhanced Sandra's backstory changed (rape is gone) UI enhanced (background images, fonts, buttons etc. changed) Smartphone enhanced. Icons adjusted. You can now change the default wallpaper with images you unlock during the gameplay (Notification will be displayed) Added creampie option to sex scene with Mary (DAY 5) Added creampie counter for all girls Minor changes to dialogues Fixed smoking/no smoking to work properly v0.2 Next two days of the story Over 1000 images Several animations Several sex scenes Two new hot girls Two hidden scenes which you can access by finding an interactive object (1 during day 5 and 1 during day 6) The option to keep Lisa from changing her hairstyle (Requires playing from day three) The option to disable smoking scenes (Requires playing from the beginning) v0.1 First four days of the story Almost 800 images 5 animations Gallery and Statistics Several sex scenes Many hot girls High Quality
rereader 2026-04-07
at first i was like "bullshit, a person in this role with this experience would never say that", but then i was like "whatever, who cares". the mc almost always has the same screaming face is ridiculous. submission = screaming is ridiculous. half of the situations are ridiculous. the number of women is ridiculous. i'm also upset that all women have either big or enormous boobs, but it is popular now. but i enjoyed the game. it is definitely worth playing. just hold the skip button when you become bored.
miltonlucifer 2026-03-26
everything in this game is great EXCEPT . Ai writing of dialogues and weird schyzophrenic shifts in characters' personalities, thought process or way of talking. on day MC is normal , the next day, he speaks like royalty, the day after he's all love like a preacher , the day after he's a zoomer who thinks life is reddit . dear dev : if you use chat gpt to write your dialogues, at least make characters ' way of talking consistent throughout the whole story . it's so immersion breaking. and those sarcastic one liners with that obsession of "being real "" . please ditch that , no one talks like that.
JamesV6 2026-03-19
One of my favorite games. I really don't know what these degenerates are expecting from a fucking porn game. If ya'll want a deep and complex story with lots of choices, go play a Telltale game or anything like that. This game has everything you need: - Harem - Lots of hot chicks that love the MC. Nothing like your pathetic and pointless existence. - Good sex scenes - An ok plot that seems to know where it wants to go, and it's moving towards that
OleJackRipper 2026-03-06
I lost all my old saves and started a completely new playthrough. Sigh. . . . I regret it. I might've enjoyed it if I kept playing from my old saves and moved forward instead of reviewing things. A lot of spoilers ahead so I'll use the feature. But for what's not. The graphics are pretty good. The first time I got this, I got the uncompressed too fucking big download and was highly impressed because of the gigs it came with. There is quite a story if this does it for you. But to me, this feels like harem a la naruto. Almost everyone can never be too evil or can never hurt you soo much that you won't forgive them after doing some "retribution." I'm one of the, I don't rape or hatefuck because i'd feel disgusted with myself. I'm hoping the mod or something messed up some variable because that is actually an option here. It's a long game so playing it a third time minus the mod is taking me a while to get to the same scene to confirm if it is or is not unavoidable. Spoiler: Spoilers get specific WIth playing all over again. I was reminded that the potentially highest value milf/mylf of the game. Was not just a bitch. She orchestrated the destroying of a family. And apparently didn't give a shit about her own daughters for a full 10 years. But you're gonna fuck her. And it will be unavoidable. There are some girls were you actually do get to make a clean break. But I'm not sure if that's true. In my previous play when I wondered if the dev screwed up quite a few variabl0se or if it was the mod's handiwork. I rejected someone as clearly as the mod stated the path would be closed. But instead of this individual being arrested like it seemed the story would lead to, she shows up later. Another individual who also should've been arrested was not and even got fucked later... bra! let me choose not to fuck someone if the relationship is unavoidable dammit!! THere are quite a few individuals I don't want relationships with. But no way out. I chose the least desirable and recommended options. My mc still fucked them. . . . It's not kinetic. . . .clearly there are choices. . . but a lot of relationships are unavoidable. This vn has quite a few cases of folk leaving without any word. Mc left without word. his communication was blocked by the girls' mother and by the mc's father. . . . go figure! He apparently had a 5 chick harem before this game began. 1 dissapeard without any words because she was afraid she almost cause the death of one of her sister wives. THen 2, thought they would get to share that they chose their corporate ladder instead of the fam because it was their dream after climbing the ladder. The one offering them their corporate ladder dream is implied to be someone the mc hates, hence not only did they choose to leave, they chose an enemy solidifying it as betrayal instead of becoming a better professional. They "betrayed" the mc and got betrayed in turn. this might be skipped or not noticed because it was not explicitly stated. but they got captured by enemy forces for months before making their escape. They mention they went through hell and their bodies and souls were scarred. THese 2 LIs were raped. I'm not saying I would be like AW HELL NAW NOT TOUCHING THEM WITH A 10 FOOT POLE. The betrayal for the corporate ladder is enough for me to say all the best but you knew that deal didn't include me. let's accept the consequences. Oh! A family friend really close to the girls. Blackmails one and put's her through emotional hell. Actually, 2. A mother and her daughter. They both get forgiven. It seemed like fucking the daughter was unavoidable while the mom could get sent to prison. but i got an unavoidable scene where the mc fucked her later. . .. gonna see if that's mod's work or as is. Quite a few variables are messed up or pointless. In the beginning, if you choose to avoid a haircut for one of the LIs. She has the haircut hair any damn way! There were quite a few bugs later as well. in the latest bit of content, i missed a bunch of the scene because the screen instead showed the error, rollback or ignore. . . . I regret playing this again. Still, I know this is more enjoyed by many here.
aldmerian 2026-03-02
playing this right after Pale Carnations was a bit of a letdown. Not enough paths available. The graphics are cool but the narrative was severely lacking. It's a good game if you just want to scroll thhrough the unlocked gallery but it is quite bad if you decide to slog through the uninteresting story in between scenes
Teyrna 2026-03-01
This is a fine example of a game where the developer doesn't keep track of things in the game. The developer has a general idea of the direction the game should take, but never really writes down the details... has the concept in their head, but that's it. And to their credit, I'll admit, the general story of a guy coming back to a town he wasn't wanted in after the death of his father is a good one, but every so often you'll come across details that don't match with things you saw earlier in the game. I've been seeing them all along, but the latest one to catch my attention is the MC's age. Based on things we know, this MC should be approximately the same age as one of the LIs—Kate, 32—because they dated in school, and we know it was in school because Kate gives this detailed story of how she was bullied for her looks in school. However, the underlying story is about our MC who ran away from home ten years prior to present day. The problem is this: when a 12-16 year old runs away from home, it's running away from home ... when a 22 year old does it, it's moving out . A lot of the story hinges on the fact that the MC was forced to leave home under duress . When you're 22 and you aren't wanted at home, you just get told You're 22, time to stop living on my dime and make your own mark on the world. Stay here, and i'm charging rent. Based on the amenities you get here, you're not going to like what I'll charge. You have until the end of the month . Playing at Machiavelli really isn't necessary. This is just one of many details that gets conveniently left behind or missed, and I could go through them all... but it's going to take an entirely new playthrough on my part to list them all. As far as the LIs go, I like the variation. I gotta wonder though, why does nearly every single LI have tattoos? With so many women in this game, the developer had to know they would run out of tattoos to choose from without reaching down into the paid selections at the Daz3D store, resulting in a lot of repeat tattoos. For example, just looking at the in-game profile phone app and you see two LIs—Isabella and Becky—with the identical fertility tattoos below the midriff. To our knowledge so far, these two women have never met one another, there's no reason our MC would ever randomly meet two women with the exact fertility tattoos in the same spot, so what's the deal with this? ... and moreso, why make it even more obvious by putting them next to one another in your in-game profile phone app? It's not the only tattoo this developer does it with, but it's the most blatantly obvious example. So yeah, I like the overarching story, and I like some of the LI variation, but the dev could've done better with the minutiae and other elements. I give three stars. In future games, dev, write some of this down or find some other way to keep track.
baddd60 2026-02-27
Awesome game. I have a tendency to skip through some of the sex scenes as they are repetitive in nature. I find myself wanting to watch the story instead of the sex. How many more women can he move into that house? There has to be a point when jealousy sets in. To many beautiful women. The MC isn't that masculine. The badass women are truly badass. I love that the most about the women. All in all, cant wait to see where this leads.
Sayora 2026-02-18
Be warned, this work is only suitable for die-hard harem fans. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- This is fucking nuts. I tried to finish this crap twice and finally gave up and deleted it. Despite the huge number of beautiful models and excellent erotic scenes, I still made a facepalm every time after the MC's actions. How could you make mc such a degenerate that I found it physically disgusting to continue playing as him. This idiot simply can't pass by any female creature; he throws himself at and even loves the neighbor's cats. He even fucked his stepmother, even though he hates her with all his heart, and the worst part is that you, as a player, can't restrain him in ANY WAY. It's like watching a crazy rabbit in heat—he also throws himself at dogs. A typical example from the life of a fucked-up mc—hatred scream>just scream>sex — That's it. The female creature is already in his harem. Oh yeah, don't worry about the possible options; they're just there for show. A degenerate will fuckwith everyone anyway. He might already be fucking your neighbor's cat.
Mii88 2026-02-15
A chaotic, mess of a story that should have been so much better than it is. The main culprit is porn logic. There just too much of everything here. Too many girls who look the same, who are too happy to fly into the MC's bed instantly with no build up and over the top emotional reactions, particularly from the MC. Anger and lust is everywhere, leading to some very strange actions and facial expressions at inappropriate times in scenes which also contain oddly written dialogue, all leading to the breaking immersion. There's also unnecessary forced relationships with family members when it's not needed, as there are so many LI's. If only you could choose to exclude more of the LI's but there are less and less choices as you go on and they matter less. In moving the story away from the office, the story lost its grounding and it moved more into fantasy, with the MC killing people and human trafficking madness that only the MC can stop. It goes from a harem to an impregnation cult where every woman's problem is solved by the MC's dick and everyone does what the MC says or he gets angry and violent. All this VN needs is a really good editor who realises less is more and calms everything down, as there is a really good story here but it gets drowned out with the craziness.
SingularityEvent 2026-02-14
There is honestly alot of potential here, but once again an avn that is completely ruined by the inability to produce a compelling mc. This dude just looks and behaves like complete dogshit. He is supposed to be attractive and very competent, but the character model is ugly and he throws tantrums like a frikkin teenager. Honestly cannot see any girl ever falling for this clown and here he is building a harem. How is it in any way supposed to be believable that he is somekind of alpha male that girls just fawn over. When he got the body of a scrawny teen with the temperament to match. The face of an ugly duckling with again pubecent hairgrowth pretending to be stubble or beard. Add to this his incredible stupidity and utter lack of maturity, and we once again have an mc with his only redeeming quality being that he has a big dick.... yawn. Really don't understand why any dev bothers putting so much work into crafting story and visuals just to utterly wreck it all by having a garbage centerpiece, cause that is what an mc is the centerpiece. And if you cannot manage to create a good centerpiece to glue the whole thing together everything else becomes irrelevant. With a decent mc this could easily have been a 3 or 4 star, but with this trash monkey it is excatly as I said irrelevant. Try it if you want, see what i mean and realize that you wasted your time
anne O'nymous 2026-02-12
Version: 0.80 The game starts no too badly, MC is a son returning to his extended family after his father death. Then he will slowly uncover the secret life his father was having, and learned more about his supposed dead mother. Then, everything goes out of rail... During his years far from his family, MC is supposed to have been some kind of really successful independent mercenary/secret agent. Yet, the writing make him, and his team, the most clueless persons when it come to all this. Not that realism is mandatory, but there's a difference between fantasy mercenaries and 6yo playing mercenaries; and here, it's the second that you get. They'll go in action like you would go to a Friday night party. And apparently yelling loud is enough to make everyone drop their years of bad actions and comply unconditionally... The writing doesn't really help. Most of it is pure narration, what isn't necessarily a bad thing, but only when handled well. Here, it's used as a shortcut for the story. Instead of a long pretend scene where the villain of the update try to claim to be innocent, you'll have few narration lines telling your that (s)he know that (s)he's doomed. The lewd could have saved the game, if it too wasn't so lame. There's actually 35 Love Interest, and all of them have to have their moment in each update. This lead to relationship being rushed, sex looking ridiculous, and the story being in fact put in the background. This, way to big, number of LI also have a negative impact on the visual part of the game. Girls tend more and more to look alike, and to wear the same clothes (who are most of the times either underwear or swimsuit). And, of course, with the delay between each update, you quickly lost track of who is who. And this only goes worth with the time, since almost all update, add it's wagon of LI. All girls who will, soon or later, fall for the MC and join his harem. Whatever if they are traumatized captives, enemies, or just not interested at first, all will want to be fucked by the only male around them, our magnificent MC. All this served by a now more than 50GB game where most choices doesn't really matters. Whatever if you increase one girl's love or not, she'll love the MC because it's her sole reason to appear in the game. While not fully unpleasant, it's still a terrible game now totally out of control.
N0madS0uL 2026-02-11
I thought I did review this years ago, seems I didnt, but guess I know why. So here is a quick and dirty review, pretty much like this AVN really. Pros: Attractive LIs Some kinks like pregnancy Cons: (many) Too many LIs, they look often similar, the sexual/lewd scenes are repeats, boring, vanilla and uninteresting. Kinks are only a handful and while I am a big fan of pregnancy, its ruined here because its just mentioned, its not seen (no baby bumps, lactation), experienced or anything, its simply implied. May as well have left it out tbh. Story is dull and uninteresting, some guy (your MC) on a crusade to save woman from a group of female traffickers, somehow getting the 20 of them to fawn over him and be with him <-- LOL right...wtf ever heard of less is more dev? If you can't do it with a handful 20 or more wont help either. Per above, writing is mediocre and uninspired, dull and the structure and grammar also need work. No animations, renders are often grainy and bland. CORRECTION: You may spot the odd animation, while not bad, its pretty lack luster and has no extra angles. UI has no opacity setting which is a basic one. TLDR: Generally poor quality with only the LIs being attractive, but it ends there, any kinks are killed due to their implementation (or lack thereof) especially pregnancy. Writing is mediocre at best and the entire harem of 20 + woman is ridiculous . This AVN has changed little since 2020 when it came out and any work on it now is simply dragging it out to make money off supporters.
Draghas 2026-02-11
Beautiful renders, lots of attractive women and a decent mc. The beginning is pretty great. Sadly enough the game literally forces the most obnoxious thing , that is framed as the devils incarnate and that the mc hated for ruining his family, onto you without an opportunity to refuse - and basically betraying everything the beginning of the game stood for. I'm beyond disgusted.
Juicy Blueberry 2025-12-10
The game is very large and has high quality renders... but doesn't mean it's worth your time. You just constantly meet new women, bang them, fall in love or make them submissive to you. Discovering deep dark secret of the world, then keep moving on. That's it. I mean the plot are super boring and there are no sounds or music at all.
MCharod 2025-09-24
Nice looking renders and some beatiful female models. hardly any animations though. The MC is all over the place in attitude and not consistent towards the different women in this story. Several of the girls are having trouble with men (stalker, abuse,...) and to these he is sweet and caring. But then he acts like a blackmailer or abuser himself towards other girls (example: Jennifer who drives against his car, he basically blackmails her when she wants to avoid calling the police). The characters of the main women are lacking severaly, pretty one-dimensional and boring). Don't play this if you are looking for a good story or developped characters, cause it just ain't there.
Gallion 2025-09-06
Props to the graphics and the renders, some of the girls are are awesome. Jennifer, Khloe and Kayla are my top 3 I think. Kendra is fine too. Technically, I'm not going to complain about the fact that you can have all the scenes in one play/save. But storywise, it's more challenging at some point, in a realistic way, and you can't immerse very well because of this. The plot himself is fine, tracking an human-traffic business which you're relatively involved is an somewhat an appealing story. But for me, having an MC who seems to be the greatest and flawless men who ever lived, in a world where there is not a single another men who can be something else than an asshole is difficult to keep it a certain excitement for. The pattern is now very clear, we advance a little bit for reaching the bad guys, by saving one or 2 girl on the process, and you get a rewards by got her/them in your harem. Obviously it's a fantasy than most people can have, but sometimes respect that fantasy meticulously like just that, impact the quality of a story you want to tell,and I think that's what we got.
Glaz64 2025-09-03
The renders are great, good quality, decent lighting etc. Unfortunately the story stinks, it is absolutely awful. MC is a stereotypical Marty Sue with zero originality, development or character. He faces no challenges. As soon as a challenge is presented, its resolved. All the other characters are 2D cut-outs of a 2D cut-out. They are just incredibly derivative., and there are far too many of them. The dev doesn't have the capacity to do them all justice, and in trying he does none of them justice. None of them have any real personality, its just a procession of guy meets girl, girl jumps on guy's cock, and now she can't do without him, the end. Even AI would improve the quality of this story. The number of girls should be reduced by at least half and the time saved focused on more renders and more story about the remaining girls. Introduce an actual story arc for each character. Make the story actually mean something, instead of the current situation, which is just a succession of women falling on the MC's cock, while any problem is just being solved around him. Severely disappointing because the girls look really good, but it would as well have been a slide show of the girls with zero text for all the story adds.
Pudel77 2025-07-08
Started with the 0.70 Version I downloaded month ago. The Story gets very interesting, if you get more in the game and the progress. Then I discovered the is a 0,75 Version so I changed on that version. Had in 0.70 some minor Bugs which were gone in 0.75. Most of the girls are very georgeous but some look the same so you have to read the names so see if it is the one other other girl like Anya and Kate. There are also a walkthrough mode you can enable if you want, which could help by some decisions. Back to the story at the moment from my point of view there is a lot of story to programm and hope for more twist and turns like Mr C. The only minor thing i don't like by this harem game is there is a lot of girls which have no real interesting story and they fall in love with you right away because you saved them from a dungeon or cellar where they were mishandled. Which should have been very traumatising. But know she is alright and want to be with you forever. Makes not much sense. Ok you can choose if you want the one or other in your family but which guy will would not test all the girls if you know what i mean. Hope to see more of this game in the future and please dont abandoned. it. Wishlist more submissive stuff with the submissive girls and keep the story rolling every day with some action scenes and pissing of Ming. 4 of 5 stars
Mauser45 2025-06-29
This game might very well be the pinnacle of harem games, with a great story to boot You have an MC who's arrived in town to settle his late father's affairs, reuniting with father's scheming ex-wife and the three stepsisters who he'd left behind. Add to that an underworld organisation making waves for him and his family, his PTSD from his past in the military, wanting to find out how and why his mother disappeared, and number of women who want to get to know him better, and you have a pretty solid game There's plenty to like about this game. Great dialogue, intriguing and beautiful women who have no qualms about sharing MC, tons of suspense, mystery, blackmail., violence and romance. And the sex. There's plenty of h-scenes, too. Whether you're here just for those or to take in the story, too, you won't be disappointed One small issue is that as the number of women that the MC adds to his harem grows, the amount of "screen time" that each woman gets runs the risk of getting reduced drastically; for instance, MC promised Sandra that Isabella could stay with them, but it took two updates to get there. A second issue is that there are a few errors in the game which, for some reason, the dev absolutely refuses to fix I'd still wholeheartedly recommend this game to anyone who's looking for a good storyline, or just to anyone who's into harem games. Just awesome
JackBrazen1 2025-05-19
The story in this AVN is actually pretty good. It has some mystery and foreshadowing to future events that keep it interesting. I also enjoyed the cast of characters and how the building of the harem takes place. Not too many harem AVN's I really enjoy, and I like the different approach to this one, it separates it from the cardboard cutouts that make it generic and about sex rather than built around the story. The models are beautiful, but the dialog really takes away from their personalities. Writing dialog requires a different approach from narration, or it just sounds robotic and lifeless. Pay attention to how people in real life speak, also helps to read it out loud until it sounds natural. Use contractions, figures of speech, punctuation (comma or ellipse for pause, exclamation point for excitement) and spell out sounds a certain character makes (ah, eh, hmm, sigh). Just makes a world of difference between what could be a 2 star poor AVN to a 5 star excellent story. The last thing is the MC (Man-Child?). It's a little confusing as he is suppose to be this intelligent guy who started his own successful business, and inherits a very successful business, and seems like a calm and collected ex-millitary guy, but at any sign of trouble or if things don't go his way he becomes a complete lunatic, his faces contorts into pure rage when he is suppose to be a little upset over something minor, looks and acts like a man-child as he throws tantrums like a 5 year old spoiled brat. It's confusing, uncomfortable, and it makes no sense. Maybe he's bi-polar or has PTSD that isn't explained properly? I really wanted to give this a better rating, but the MC behavior needs to be more in line with his character and the dialog needs a little life breathed into it, and a little thought put into things. The story and dialog has contradictions within itself, which is usually the case with a 1st draft and no plan. I mean in one scene the MC stresses the importance of honesty, then straight up lies to the girls, then accidentally tells the truth to someone else while they are next to him, lol, who wrote this? With some thorough edits though it could easily go to a 4 or 5 star AVN.

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