Stupid Offer

This game is very early, but it already needs some serious feedback. The core concept has potential, but the execution, especially the writing, needs a massive overhaul to be taken seriously. First, the minor points: the layout is generic and unappealing. Getting around feels clunky, the models are rough, and the interface is basic. The buildings are "cookie-cutter" stuff you've seen a million times. The biggest problem is the story and characters. It's just unbelievable, even for a hentai game. You come home to "Devon," a black guy with a generic NPC model shirtless at your kitchen table. He immediately calls himself your daughter's "sex friend" and is incredibly rude and disrespectful. What's insane is your wife finds it hilarious, and you (the dad) just awkwardly laugh. Devon's dialogue is absurd. He hits on your wife and says he'll "fuck your daughter until she passes out tonight," and the parents just laugh. Then, he deliberately shows you lewd photos of your daughter. You immediately get an erection and feel turned on. He openly mocks you, and you apologize to him. Seeing your erection, he offers a picture swap: your daughter for your wife. I could quote more, almost every single line is ridiculous. This isn't an NTR story; it's a personal power fantasy with no buildup. The core issue is that there is zero tension or buildup . Things don't happen this fast or senselessly. The current pace is so breakneck it just feels unbelievable and silly. To fix this, the writing needs a complete rewrite focusing on a few key things: Slow Down: Start the story before Devon arrives. Show us the family's normal life so we have something to care about and a baseline for what's being lost. Build Tension Gradually: Devon shouldn't be a cartoon villain from the start. Have him be charming or sneaky at first, slowly testing boundaries and creating conflict. The slow burn is what makes this genre work. Make Reactions Believable: The family's reactions are what break the story. They should react with confusion, fear, or anger, not laughter. The dad's reaction needs to be grounded in something other than immediate, nonsensical arousal. Good concept, but it's being held back by some of the worst writing I've seen. With a major narrative overhaul, this could actually be great.