Femboy Propaganda

When I saw this I was pretty excited, because like, non-aigenerated 2d VN with fox femboy?? Shut up and take my money (no money actually), then I downloaded it and... kind of familiar music in menu, huh? And colors... then I clicked start and... Veeery familiar style of prologue, why I feel dejavu? And art style... but when I saw MC, oh, I will NEVER believe that developer(s?) of this game is not working with Ego Dismantler(s?) on their game. Knowing that and knowing that this game even at this point is pretty creepy, I bet that later on there will be horror tag Though, it's a bit unusual, for some reason chest of MC who is male bigger then... it's just big, but art is pretty good IMO Characters are pretty interesting, again, kind of creepy, but that's what you get from game with PROPAGANDA in name Story looks dark but that's way better then empty and it is interesting too (at least in comparsion) At current build (v.02) there is only first act with almost nothing in it, but game looks promising enough for me, not quite in my taste, because again creepy and... look at MC... so, four stars it is

[v0.1] It feels a bit mean to rate it two stars, because I think the character design and concept is pretty cute. People ofc expect different things out of eroge but I really think a VN has to decide if it's going to rely on narrative depth or its porn elements, Femboy Propaganda feels very undecided in that regard. It has a meme title and throws a dick in your face 10min in, but it clearly also wants to take itself a bit more seriously. Spoiler for content. Spoiler: Themes Handling self-harm and suicide is a sensitive subject and tricky to write about. An eroge focused on self-harm frankly just results in a lot of tonal whiplash. How would you like it if halfway through OMORI you had a hour long scene of sweaty gay sex with BASIL? (Actually, don't answer that). Not going to say: don't write about this. But I will say: don't presume the maturity of themes inherently makes the content more serious and artsy. Seeing as Femboy Propaganda has aspirations to be literature it also feels fair to critique the writing quality. It's... okay-ish? Obviously most writing in the eroge genre is piss poor and PepperJak clearly has put some thought into it. Still, there's a few issues here that's pretty common amongst people getting into writing (myself included) that one has to keep working on between drafts. First, and a very common issue in any style, is a kind of hurry in the textual flow. There's no need to rush to the point in every scene, let tension actually be built before progressing. On a larger narrative scale this means characters shouldn't start explaining they're abused as the first thing that comes out of their mouth. Take a breather and go for a walk before looking at your drafts. Have some confidence that your reader will be pulled in and stay with you. Second, one need to starting thinking about the use of simile and metaphors. It's not simply sprinkling cool-sounding phrases, especially if it jars with the otherwise vernacular English. Returning to the point above, if one wants to write literature then text is not meant to take you as quickly as possible to the next "cool scene". It's a question of prose, and prose needs to have a consistent quality and unity (or, intentional and thoughtful lack thereof). I don't think there's better tips for improving this than simply trying to get a intuitive feel for it. I'd recommend Moby Dick especially for the use of simile, there's a reason why it's considered maybe the best work of English literature.